You made a bear! Undo it, undo it!-- Buffy (and Angel) Journals, Part Eleven
See, I really haven't abandoned this project!

This is the episode that happened because the WB (which no longer exists) decided that all their shows should incorporate anti-drug anti-drinking themes. So Joss Whedon molded that into a commentary on the id, and on college kids who think they're better than everyone else. Wait until those "we are the future of this country" kids find out that after you graduate from college... NOTHING HAPPENS. This country has no future. No future for this country; no future for you. Too bad.
I like that Parker is dubbed the id-boy and that Willow calls him on his crap. But I also find Buffy kind of whiny in this situation. Especially when I know that she's going to accuse Willow of whining too much after Oz takes off. Apparently a guy who doesn't call back after a one-night stand merits more whining than the sudden end of a two-year relationship.
I'd forgotten that we were already seeing Willow and Oz drift apart at this point. It's painful to watch. Poor Willow. And oh, the painful memories that brings up- both of my own relationships and those I've witnessed.


Love this episode for the illuminations it casts on Cordelia's character. How she, like Angel, is searching for redemption. And I love how she finds her strength and gets rid of the ghost (oh, look, another one of those literalized metaphors) not by running from the bitch she used to be, but by embracing it. It's very true to who she is-- perhaps a little backwards in that what she really wants is to go back and be that person again. But, as this season goes on, she'll outgrow that, and truly redeem herself.
I also love Phantom Dennis. The image of his mother laying the bricks and trapping him inside the wall is beyond creepy- I can't think of a colder way to kill someone- to not actually kill them yourself but merely trap them and go about your business, leaving them to suffer. And it's also slightly amusing, what with "you always hurt the one you love" playing in the background. I suppose karma came to the mother in the form of a heart attack--which is what Cordelia means when she says that if she gets to keep the apartment, she's at least sort of good.


Oh, the pain. The pain, it burns.
I hate Oz for leaving Willow. Of corse it has to happen to further the plot (and Seth Green's career) but it's so harsh. And she doesn't get any say in it, she just has to bear the brunt and deal with the emotional hell- drudges up some memories I'd rather not relive. Lee has managed to redeem himself, but it still hurts sometimes, if I let myself go there. That's the thing about having a memory like mine-- you find yourself slipping into mindsets of the past, things you've actually outgrown. I'll be thinking about something that happened back in high school, and I'll suddenly feel seething hatred towards someone I haven't seen or spoken to in nearly a decade. Then I'll realize that a decade has passed and that the person involved has grown up and moved on, as have I.
The wolf functions as a metaphor here, though I'm not sure I can verbalize exactly what it's a metaphor for. Animal instinct, I guess. He loves Willow, but the wolf directs him elsewhere. I guess that's a common feeling. It would be easier to sympathize with if Veruca wasn't clearly sociopathic.


I had completely forgotten this episode. It's pretty funny- what if police officers really, truly went soft? Why do they set it up the way they do, with Kate breaking down while toasting her father? It's embarrassing to watch. But it's effective, because it's public humiliation. Everyone just wants to plug their ears and pretend it didn't happen, which is in effect what they do. But the end of the episode leaves you wondering if Kate and her father would benefit from dealing with the public humiliation and discussing the things it brought up- but it appears that they are both too emotionally stunted to even attempt that. A problem I know all too well. My family has always been good at refusing to acknowledge a less-than-pleasant issue. Parts of my life, or even of me, are not suitable to be brought up in familial company. It stings. And then when my mother attempts to discuss something, she comes at me all stiff and full of assumptions, and she wonders why I get upset.
On a lighter note, I think Angel really should undergo permanent sensitivity training-- it makes him much more fun to watch.


Riley is cute. He doesn't get enough credit for being the adorable little fumbler that he is. It's sweet, how he falls for Buffy and doesn't even realize it. Kind of makes me wish it could have worked out for them.
Why is Spike the only hostile who's able to escape from the Initiative? Does he disarm them with his wit, or is he the only one who's really put up a fight? Both seem surprisingly possible. Given their location, it doesn't seem unreasonable that the majority of the Initiative's captures are young, rookie vampires- like the one we see next to Spike, the former member of Sunday's gang- more "minion" types, who wouldn't be inclined to fight for themselves the way Spike is.
And then we run into Spike's impotence issues, which come up after a brutal attack scene. Which is, according to the creators, both a deliberate rape metaphor (chilling in that capacity, with all the other students standing around outside the door completely oblivious) and how they would really have killed Willow if they had been inclined to do so.
I love how they then sit and talk calmly about Spike's impotence. Spike is just such a charming fellow that he completely disarms people with that-- with dialogue-- more than with force. And that's what makes him an awesome character.
At this point in the game, Riley seems like he's going to be complex and interesting- I don't know where that got lost. The whole storyline just sort of tanked around Adam's introduction, and Riley's character went down with it.
Buffy calling Professor Walsh out on her lack of compassion is one of my favorite Buffy character moments. Only a girl who really can't afford to be afraid of anything would be able to stand up to a professor that way. And I've always loved how she says "You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job." Human compassion is all too often an afterthought.


Ew, scary brain-eating demon family! They seem like such nice people other than that. I don't know how this episode would hold up to a racism-awareness based scrutiny. There could be some underlying note of "they say the old customs are gone, but no matter how nice they seem, there's always something beneath the surface."
The point of the episode though, is Doyle's self-loathing. He can't accept that he's half-demon, and he doesn't expect anyone else to either. "She didn't leave because of the demon in me, she left because of me." But it still doesn't seem that he learns his lesson. He doesn't ever open up to Cordelia, which is one of the great tragedies of the series. He dies a martyr, and what might have been is always just that.
In a weird way, the brain-eater seems sincere. He wants the marriage to be whole, and he's supposed to gain that by absorbing the love from her first marriage. Which I think is actually an ancient idea about cannibalism. I heard that somewhere. But still, ew.


Tra la la Thanksgiving- "you just want to slay the demon and then go 'la la LA!'" They do a good job of presenting many viewpoints on whether Thanksgiving should really be a celebration and how the Native Americans were treated. As a whole, the episode is pretty silly. I don't mean that in a bad way- it's amusing in its silliness.
It irritates me that Angel is in this episode for no reason. All it does is set up the "Angel" episode that follows- and I hate that episode and am dreading watching it. It's never even explained why Doyle had a vision of Buffy- the Chumash is hardly the most dangerous foe Buffy's ever faced. The only thing that makes sense is that Doyle is envisioning the events of "I Will Remember You," which is a far more revelatory episode. Did the powers that be orchestrate the whole thing?
I suppose on some level, Buffy's Thanksgiving without her mom represents the larger theme of transitioning to adulthood. But I'm not 100% sure that works, given how many adults still go home for Thanksgiving with their parents. It does work on the "teenager's perspective on larger issues" level.


I like Angel's desk clock. It's pretty. That's possibly the only thing I really like about this episode.
Okay, that's not completely true- I do, on the most basic level, like the gooey love scense between Buffy and Angel- and that's why I hate this episode. Not only are we, the viewers, teased with a potential happy ending- but Buffy ultimately has the whole thing ripped away from her- which repeats the issue from Pangs ("you can see me but I can't see you?") on a larger scale. Not only that, but once again he's underestimating Buffy's strength. I would feel better about it if he were thinking of protecting all the random people he helps and protects, but he frames it as protecting Buffy, which strikes me as sexist and degrading, because if there is anyone who doesn't need protecting, it's Buffy.
And it's always struck me as odd that Buffy is so accepting of his decision, and the fact that he made this decision without telling her. Grr. Buffy's strength always seems to break down around Angel. Which is sadly quite realistic in terms of strong women and tumultuous relationships- we are, after all, only human.


One of my favorites. Willow's suffering is very relatable, as is her desperation for it to go away. Why won't it go away just because she wants it to? It really isn't fair. And her friends' impatience with her pain isn't fair either. I've been there. Although, it's more often been me who was impatient with myself, or afraid of being like other girls who were objects of mockery. Yes, one should be allowed a grieving period, but when you've spent two years mourning the loss of a three-month relationship, it's time to let go. However, when it's two weeks after a devastating breakup and your friends are acting like something is wrong with you for not being over it, that is equally problematic. Which is what irked me about "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" (although, overall, I really enjoyed that movie).
I like watching the Xander/Anya relationship grow. Same with Buffy/Riley, even though I know both are ultimately doomed. Buffy talks a lot in this episode about Riley being too safe for her, and that will continue to haunt her.
While under the enchantment, Spike says something about protecting Buffy, and she seems shocked and disgusted that he thinks she needs protecting. Yet it's fine when Angel says the same thing. I don't get it.